Chili & Cornbread, Greek Yogurt Style

I know, its 90 degrees outside and who wants to eat chili in the Kansas humidity...  This girl :)

I love chili in all its forms and mutations.  How the flavors convalesce and get even more amazing in leftovers.  How you can use chili for so many different things like tacos and nachos and good golly I have officially made myself hungry again.

In my ongoing purge of the deep freeze, I encountered more frozen chicken breasts and while I was pondering a possible use, I noticed two cans of great northern kidney beans looking a bit lonely and toward the back of the pantry shelf.  And then I just knew... white chicken chili and cornbread.

These recipes are adapted from Allrecipes.com where I found their origins, but they have been tweaked to my specifications and greek yogurted...yogurtized?..yogurtified?  You get the point.

I umm forgot to take pictures because...uh, we ate it all (the whole family, not just me).  So here are some beautiful stock photos that pretty much sum up how it looked :)

Easy White Chicken Chili
Original recipe can be found here.

Prep Time: 15 Minutes (if you already have cooked chicken, if not, tack on some time)
Cook Time: 20 Minutes
Ready In: 35 Minutes
Servings: 6


INGREDIENTS:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1-2 tsp minced garlic
14-16 ozs low sodium chicken broth
2 (15.5 ounce) cans great Northern beans
1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chile peppers (I used the Trader Joe's fire roasted variety)
1 pound of cooked chicken, torn into bite sized pieces or chopped.  I use this recipe to bake my chicken first seasoned with garlic powder, chili powder, salt and pepper.  (P.S. I use this method to cook chicken ALL THE TIME AND ITS FREAKING AMAZING... that's all, moving on)
1 tbsp ground cumin
1/2-1 tbsp chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (more if you like more heat)
1 (8 ounce) cup of nonfat greek yogurt
2% Shredded Monterey Jack cheese (optional)
Habanero Hot Sauce (optional)

DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in onions and garlic, and cook until softened and translucent, about 3-4 minutes. Pour in chicken broth, great Northern beans (undrained, you want liquid), chopped chiles, and chicken. Season with cumin, chili powder, and cayenne pepper. Increase heat to medium-high to bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer for at least 10 minutes.
2. Stir in greek yogurt and simmer for 5 minutes. To serve, ladle into bowls and sprinkle with Monterey Jack cheese & flavor with habanero hot sauce (we prefer Valentina Extra Hot Sauce, its crazy hot!)

Per Serving (according to MFP): *minus the cheese
Calories 276
Carbs 25 
Fat 5
Protein 29  
Sodium 426  
Sugar 4

Excellent and Healthy Cornbread
Original recipe can be found here

Prep Time: 10 Minutes
Cook Time: 25 Minutes
Ready In: 35 Minutes
Servings: 9










INGREDIENTS:
1 cup unbleached flour
1 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup white sugar or coconut sugar (which is what I used)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
1/2 cup applesauce
1 tablespoon oil, vegetable or coconut (of course I used the coconut oil)
2 tablespoons honey

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Lightly grease an 8x8 inch baking pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix flour, cornmeal, sugar, soda and salt. Stir in yogurt, applesauce, oil and honey. Do not over mix, stir only until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until center of the bread springs back when gently pressed.

Per Serving (according to MFP):
Calories 171
Carbs 34  
Fat 2 
Protein 5  
Sodium 417  
Sugar 12

Best Damn Popcorn Ever Popped!

Yep, I said it.  Its the (healthy) best.  At least in my 31 years of existence, its the best.  Now, I'm not ranking this against butter-laden, chalked full of salt movie theater popcorn.  That stuff is special and beautiful in its own setting.  Its unhealthy but as an occasional indulgence, its a delightful part of the movie theater experience.

My recipe is for the evening movie snack or a light lunch.  Its quick, simple and easily repeatable.  I've adapted the recipe a bit from various other blogs and websites so feel free to find one that works for you.

Here is the cast:

Ingredients / Supplies:
1/4 cup of popcorn (I found a wonderful non-GMO variety purchased in bulk from Amazon)
3 tsp of coconut oil, divided
Lawry's Seasoning Salt, Less Sodium
Nutritional Yeast Seasoning
1 brown paper lunch sack

Instructions:
Add popcorn kernels to brown paper lunch sack with 1 tsp of coconut oil.  Fold over the top of the bag about 3 times and crease it.  Now coconut oil is a solid until warmed to about 76 degrees so rather than melting it prior to adding to the bag (because that would be a bit of a hassle... for me), I put it in the bag as a solid and proceed with the following steps.  Put the bag in the microwave and add 2 minutes (on high) to the time.  After about 15 seconds, take out the bag and give it a couple of good quick shakes to coat the kernels with the melted coconut oil.   Place it back in the microwave and start the microwave again.  For my microwave, 2 minutes is perfection.  No overly done kernels, most of the kernels are popped (especially after I bought a higher quality brand).  When its done, the bag should look something like this:

I highly suggest wiping down the glass turntable each time, it gets a little greasy.  Take the bag out of the microwave and melt the remaining 2 teaspoons of coconut oil in a small cup or bowl.  Pour the contents of the bag into a large bowl (its probably 3-4 cups popped) and drizzle with the melted coconut oil.  Add some shakes of Lawry's Seasoning Salt (or whatever seasoning you want) and adjust the amount per your taste.  Take a large pinch of Nutritional Yeast Seasoning and crush with your fingers into the palm of your other hand.  Sprinkle the crushed yeast seasoning onto the popcorn for a slightly cheesy flavor addition that kicks the whole thing up a notch.  I LOVE this popcorn and eat it roughly 4-5x per week (usually for lunch or snack).

The coconut oil drizzle is going to tack on some calories (good fats) and you may think it sounds just grody because coconut oil, really?!?, but I promise its a sensational combination and a great alternative to melted butter or margarine.  I'm also planning to try a sweet version on a night were I'm craving kettle corn.  Same principal, but instead of Lawry's and Nutritional Yeast, I will use cinnamon sugar with the melted coconut oil.

Happy popping!

Roasted Butternut Squash & Brussel Sprouts

I've been on a mission to consume the contents of the deep freeze.  I have all sorts of quirky things that I have purchased over the last year such as a leg of lamb, andouille sausage, ground pork... stuff that I purchased for a certain recipe that I found online and then discovered that I was missing an ingredient or two so it was shipped to the island of lost food... the deep freeze.  But these items will be abandoned no more!  I shall resurrect them from their frozen waste land and use them to create delicious and healthy dinners!!   Huzzah!  <fist in the air>

So I had these two packages of frozen vegetables that were just dying to be paired up.  I went in search of some recipe that combined them in a healthy side-dishy sort of way... and found pretty much nothing.  Plenty of butter-laid scrumptious looking dishes, but nothing that I felt I could serve my family without impacting their cholesterol levels.  Thus my recipe was born.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and enjoy experimenting with different seasoning combinations (next time I plan to get a little crazy and add some rosemary or perhaps a sliced onion).

Now you could go to the store and buy a large, fresh butternut squash and the spend the next 4-5 hours carefully peeling, slicing and cubing.  And while you are in the produce aisle you could bag up some adorable little brussel sprouts all fresh and new and ready to go home with you.  Or you could wander over to the freezer aisle because its 5:30pm and you don't have time for all that nonsense and grab a bag of frozen diced butternut squash and family-sized brussel sprouts.

Throw them in the microwave together on defrost for about 7 minutes (still in their individual bags).  After that, take out the butternut squash and defrost the brussel sprouts by themselves for another 2-3 minutes.  You want the butternut squash to still be fairly firm and partially frozen otherwise it will get pretty mushy during the roasting process.

While all that defrosting is happening, you can preheat the oven to 400 degrees and prepare the rest of the ingredients plus a large jelly roll pan.  The next items on the list are probably the most used in my kitchen:  Extra virgin olive oil, fresh minced garlic, and extra virgin coconut oil.  Now the coconut oil is optional, you could just stick with regular ol' olive oil if you don't have any coconut oil or if you aren't inclined to use it.  I have been meaning to write an ode to coconut oil in another blog post and one of these days I will get around to it.  Its magical and amazing and changing my life.  Oh and grab the sea salt grinder and pepper shaker (not pictured cause I got excited about the life-changing coconut oil and forgot to put them in the picture).

With your veggies all nice and defrosted, open the butternut squash package and add to a large mixing bowl.  Open the brussel sprout package and then take a knife to slice the brussel sprouts in half length-wise as you add them to the bowl.  They should still be pretty cold and almost a bit frozen so they are easier to slice.  Once they are all halved, you can stir in 1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of melted coconut oil (it melts at 76 degrees so you may have to warm it up in the microwave), and about 2 tablespoons of minced garlic or whatever you prefer.  I never really measure garlic, I just throw some heaping spoonfuls in because you can never have too much garlic.  Ever.  Give that mixture a good gentle stir to coat everything without ripping apart the brussel sprouts.  They are cute and delicate and once they are halved, they are more inclined to fall apart.  Use about a teaspoon at olive oil to coat the bottom of the jelly roll pan with your very clean fingers (its good for your skin anyway, rub it into your cuticles afterward!) and then spread the veggie mixture evenly over the pan.  You could also use aluminum foil to cover the pan, but its a snap to clean up, so why bother?  Season with sea salt and black pepper to your hearts desire and then place in the oven.

Set the timer for 15 minutes and wait for the aroma of garlic.  Its coming and its heavenly.  After 15 minutes, remove the pan and use a wide spatula/flipper/whatever is handy to turn everything over.  Place it back in the oven and set the timer for another 15 minutes.  Brace yourself for opening that oven door to take it out when its done, you might pass out from garlic overload.

Here's the recipe:

Roasted Butternut Squash & Brussel Sprouts
1 package of frozen butternut squash cubed or diced
1 package of brussel sprouts, family size
2 tbsps garlic, minced
2 tbsps olive oil or 1 tbsp olive oil + 1 tbsp coconut oil
Sea salt to taste
Ground black pepper to taste
1-2 tsp olive oil (for pan)

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
Defrost butternut squash for 5-7 minutes and brussel sprouts for 7-10 minutes.  
Add butternut squash to large mixing bowl.
Slice brussel sprouts lengthwise and add to large mixing bowl.
Stir in olive oil, melted coconut oil (optional) and garlic.
Spread mixture into a large jelly roll pan and season with sea salt and pepper.
Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes, remove and turn.  Bake for another 15 minutes until brussel sprouts are starting turn slightly golden brown around the edges.

Serves: 4
Per Serving according to calculations by MyFitnessPal:
Calories - 169
Carbs - 20
Fat - 7
Protein - 400-600 (depending on how much you use)
Sugar - 6

Bad-ass Bruised Knuckles

I'm not a violent person.  Whenever you take those personality tests that evaluate what animal you are most like, I usually come up as some sort of canine retriever.  I've never been in a physical altercation outside of kid-wrestling with my sister or sparring a bit in my Tae Kwon Do class which I never particularly liked.  My husband on the other hand is a natural warrior.  Built for speed and freakish strength.  The heavy bag utters a cry of despair and weeps in the corner when he shows up (he has broken more than a few in his day).  The heavy bag raises an eyebrow at me and scoffs a little.  That is, until this weekend.  The hubby wanted me to come to his gym (local martial arts school where he has free reign of all the equipment whenever he wants) and practice hitting the heavy bag to build up my upper body strength.  Now, me and this bag... me and martial arts in general, have not had good history.  I love martial arts, I'm just not very coordinated and I have had 3 knee surgeries and no ACL left to prove it.  When I used to try and hit the heavy bag, I would be out of breath in no time and have sore wrists for days.  Until now...

With my husband observing to make sure my form and technique was correct, I went to town on this bag.  Punches, jabs, uppercuts, even elbows.  And you know what?  I wasn't out of breath even after several minutes of nonstop hits.  The bag was moving all over the place like I was actually making an impact.  He kept looking over at me waiting for the tell tale "I'm so done with this because I'm a worn out hot mess" look and it never came.  I finally stopped because my hands were stinging pretty badly and when I pulled off my gloves, I had totally skinned my knuckles.  And I felt glorious.  All those push-ups and free weight exercises are finally starting to pay dividends.

Today, I see a bit of bruising starting on my hands, but it doesn't even really hurt much.  I'm not saying that my non-violent tenancies are vanishing.  I am who I am, I will never be an MMA fighter.  I am happy, upbeat and generally trusting of the population...however, I would like to be ABLE to pulverize someone should they ever mess with me and/or mine.  I like this feeling, I'm just gonna go with it :)

Why yes, I do smell like a piña colada

I've always been pretty good to my skin.  My blessed mother started me on facial moisturizers in my early teens and I have keep my face/body slathered in lotions and body butters ever since.  After turning 30, I noticed more and more little lines cropping up along the contours of my face and I was determined to take some action to keep them at bay if I could.  I am comfortable with aging gracefully, but I wasn't going down without a fight.  Being a bit of a thrifty person who avoids chemicals whenever possible, I wasn't about to spend hundreds of dollars on fancy products or more dramatic measures.  I've always believed that our best products come from nature in its least processed form.  So I went forth and researched organic/natural products with a price tag I could live with.  Typically Amazon.com is my go-to for online shopping, but in this case, I found better prices and a subscription program that would keep all my favorite products arriving at my doorstep with perfect regularity on Vitacost.com (not a paid advertisement for them, just love this stuff and want to share it)

My research yielded the following discoveries that lead me to more healthy skin:

• Vitamin C
• Coconut Oil
• Argan Oil

As a former teenager with acne prone skin, I initially balked at the thought of putting oil on my face/body without horribly painful and visible repercussions, but as I learned more and more about the two oils, I started to warm to the idea.  Everyone's skin is different so I suggest doing your own research and experimentation to see what works best for you (age / diet / climate all play their parts).  This particular formula works for me and in my opinion, my skin has never looked or felt better.

So here goes....

*****

Face: Morning
I use a light facial cleanser that doesn't strip all my moisture away, but if I've actually gotten up to do a workout, it still gets the job done.  
Avalon Organics Hydrating Cleansing Milk Vitamin C

Next, I put several drops of Argan Oil on my face/neck before dabbing on my daily moisturizer.
Acure Argan Oil

Daily Facial Moisturizer (applied after every cleansing, morning and night)
Avalon Organics Rejuvenating Oil-Free Moisturizer Vitamin C

Face: Evening
This is a more recent addition so I'm still testing, but so far, no adverse effects.  I have been using Burt's Bees Facial Cleansing Towelettes for Sensitive Skin after a workout and/or at night to remove make-up.  They do a great job and don't leave my skin feeling dried out or raw.  Vitacost doesn't sell them, but I can pick them up at a local store or Amazon.

I use a gel cleanser at night (sometimes with my Clairsonic) to remove dirt / oil / makeup at the end of day.
Avalon Organics Refreshing Cleansing Gel Vitamin C

Next, I put several drops of coconut oil on my face/neck before my daily moisturizer.  Its important to note that coconut oil solidifies at close to room temperature, so I bought a small travel size bottle to fill and then I run it under hot water before use.  If you would rather not go to this trouble, you can scoop out a small amount (maybe dime size) and warm it between your hands until it liquefies.  Yes, I smell just like a coconut.  The hubby uses it too so we both smell rather tropical at night.
Vitacost Extra Virgin Certified Organic Coconut Oil

I almost always dab a little of my favorite daily moisturizer to my face after the coconut oil, but even if I don't, I use an eye cream for those crinkly parts we all despise.  You apply by dabbing with your middle or ring finger so that you don't pull the skin.
Reviva Labs Firming Eye Serum with Alpha Lipoic Acid Vitamin C Ester and DMAE No 368 -- 1 fl oz

Body: Morning
I have abandoned most lotion/body butter moisturizers for my skin because it just feels like they don't work for me.  So instead, I am almost 100% coconut oil for the body.  I apply it first thing in the morning while I'm getting ready so that it soaks in before I get dressed.  If the bathroom isn't warm enough after my shower, I run the bottle under warm water.  This stuff smells like a delightful piña colada.  Mmmm piña coladas...
Organic Fiji Virgin Coconut Oil Pineapple

Body: Evening
I apply this version at night to my legs and arms because Lavender is calming and it smells lovely.
Organic Fiji Virgin Coconut Oil Lavender -- 12 fl oz

*****

Ok, some caveats... Coconut oil will soak into your clothes/sheets if you don't give it enough time to dry.  I like to give it a good 30 minutes if I can and I rub it in good.  At first, I wasn't sure about the dewy nature of my skin after adding oil, but I have come to love it.  I feel like my skin doesn't naturally produce as much oil now so I really don't break out much.  Again, everyone's skin is unique so you have to go with what work for you.  To manage any acne that does crop up, I use the following products with tea tree oil as needed:

Desert Essence Natural Tea Tree Oil Facial Cleansing Pads

Aura Cacia Cleansing Stick Tea Tree

Hmm... Hypnosis?

This isn't a paid endorsement of any kind.  I don't know this gentlemen or claim that his product is 100% fool proof.  I will simply be speaking to my own personal experience, for what its worth...

***********

A few weeks ago, I was in an absolute rut.  I knew what I was supposed to be doing.  I knew that chocolate and wine and pizza wouldn't actually make anything better.  I knew that exercise would probably give me that energy and mood boost that I needed.  But I just... couldn't get past myself.  I wasn't making horrible choices every day, but I also wasn't consistent with healthy food or exercise.  I was consumed with the fear that I was headed back on that slow march toward overeating, weight gain and self-loathing.

And then a Groupon offer popped into my inbox for a weight loss hypnosis therapy session.  I was mildly intrigued so I went to the website for the vendor and perused the testimonials and package pricing.  The cost was more than I was willing to pay on a gamble so I dismissed it and deleted the email.   Suddenly, a thought popped into my head. Hadn't I seen an audio book for hypnosis weight loss on Audible.com?  P.S. I heart audio books, they give me a reading escape when I don't have time for reading escape.

I logged into my account and started digging into hypnosis therapy audio books.  I looked through reviews and selected a few with higher ratings.  Downloaded one immediately to my iPhone and vowed to try it that night when I was laying in bed that night.    Admittedly, I wanted it to work and from what I have learned of hypnosis since that point, being open to the concept is a crucial step.  I definitely fell asleep during the first listen, which is common and not detrimental since they are attempting to access your unconscious mind.   Even after the first time, I felt more positive and energized to make healthy decisions.  I wasn't anticipating an immediate reaction, but that was my experience.

As with all things of this nature, its not a cure or a magic on/off switch in your brain to be healthy or unhealthy.  I think of it as just one more grenade in my motivation arsenal.  I have listened to this particular audio book (see link below) approximately 2-3x per week at bedtime and the results are compelling for me:

• I've shed the extra pounds I added during my rut.
• I've been *enjoying* working out 5-6x per week.  
• I don't feel an overwhelming urge for unhealthy food.  
• All of these things are unusual for me.  

So I hope this helps you if you are feeling overwhelmed and under-motivated. 

Glenn Harrold's Ultimate Guide to Permanent and Natural Weight Loss

http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_1_10?asin=B002V5BBRI&qid=1366924632&sr=1-10

I don't run, except when I do

I decided to take up running.  This was no small decision.  My former motto was "one should not run unless being chased!"  But then I watched the Walking Dead and the Hunger Games.  I'm not saying those things are going to happen.  I'm just saying, I would rather not be zombie kibble or voted most likely to die within the first 15 minutes of the battle.

So maybe I should start running?!?  There are special shoes and socks and clothing to be considered.  What apps are the best?  What shoes will make me automatically run faster?  Will my derriere be too jiggly?  Many deep thoughts...  And those who know me, know that I had to research the sh-crap out of running before I went forth and hit the pavement.

First, I had to find a running program/app that would help me figure out when to jog and when to walk so I could suck in air and pretend that I was totally in control of my situation.  Plus, it had to let me listen to my running mix in iTunes.  Making that mix alone was an undertaking... sheesh.  So I downloaded the C25K free app and I like it.  Couch to 5K fits all of my requirements and the lady's voice who prompts me to run/walk/begin the cool-down is pleasant & computer-like.

Secondly, I wanted to run on the balls of my feet (basically barefoot running) so I needed minimalism shoes that would keep me from heel striking.  Three knee surgeries later, I have no ACL in my right knee so I have to be as good to my knees as possible.  I came across Merrell Trail Glove shoes and I was hooked.  I wear these things everywhere, even on a hike in the McDowell Sonoran Preserve in AZ this weekend where I was navigating across rocks and gravel.  They give nice airflow and it feels like I don't have anything on my feet other than a perfectly formed rubber layer to keep my skin protected (Batman feet!).  Freaking love these shoes!  Incidentally, I have to buy mens sizes because Merrell doesn't make a 12 in Women's... Ahem, Merrell, tall girls want pretty shoes too...

Next, I had to buy a special harness to take my border collie, Phoenix, with me.  A) He's faster than me so he tends to pull forward at first and B) he can be a bit fearful at times of other dogs and cars so he will pull away and I wanted to make sure I wasn't choking the life out of him via his collar.  The best I have found so far is the Premier Easy Walk Harness.  Something about the structure and way that it keeps him tethered to me totally works with his brain.  When I get it out for a walk/run, he comes over to me and stands very still while I snap it on him.  He sticks next to me during the entire walk (baring anything terrifying appearing suddenly).  Did I mention he is brilliant and beautiful and awesome in so many ways?

Lastly, I signed up for a 5K in September so now I really can't quit.  Ok, I could, but I spent money which is just motivation enough for me.  And now, 3ish weeks into the process, I don't want to quit.  I'm enjoying the mental release of running.  I don't LOVE running.  But I don't hate it either.  Its ok.  Running and I are still casually dating, it may just be a summer fling.

Cupcakes & Bikinis

Anyone else experiencing an unusual amount of work lately?  I like being busy, but it has been mildly outrageous.  Too many hours working, thinking about work, worrying about work, etc.  I think most of this could be solved if the weather would be a bit kinder across the country.  It seems all parties are particularly crabby and I'm sure a fair amount of spring-like temperatures could improve that tremendously.  People will start to slack off and not worry so much about those pesky software problems.  That and cupcakes.  Yesterday, I explained my cupcake diplomacy strategy to my sister.  I'm pretty sure that many of the world's economic problems and political unrest could be solved by mandatory Monday cupcakes.  Small business growth + sugar endorphins = world peace.  My sister awarded me with Awesome award.  I dramatically thanked all the little people that could make this possible.

In other news, last Monday, my hubby and I started running!  And then it rained.   And then it snowed.  And snowed.....  really?  Thanks a heap Kansas.  My 5K running app is judging me now.  Thankfully Jillian Michaels "Ripped in 30" has been keeping me company indoors.  My impending vacation to sunny Scottsdale in 3 weeks has been rather motivating to me.  Too bad I wasn't this motivated 4 weeks ago.  Now I have exactly 3 weeks to improve my muscle tone and lose some extra poundage as best I can.  After a glass of wine on Saturday night for courage, I clicked "purchase" on a two-piece bathing suit.  I suppose its technically a bikini, but since that word scares the bejesus out of me, so we won't be calling it by that name.  I can live with "two-piece".  The last time I put on anything resembling a bikini <shudder> I'm fairly certain it had matching water wings to keep me from drowning in the deep end of the pool.

What's kept me away

What you are about to witness is my journey to truth and an attempt to explain, but not excuse my behavior for the past month or so.  I would like to start off by saying that February is historically the worst month of the year for me.  I grapple with all the things that everyone else does.  February is bleak and horrible for the following reasons:

• The days are short, the sunshine is infrequent (don't ever let me move to a cloudy/rainy climate, I will wilt) and its blustery, cold and stupid outside.  
• We had over 16 inches of snow in one week...can you say recipe for comfort food?  
• I hate Valentines Day for several deep-rooted reasons that started in my teenage years and continue to this day.  In a nutshell, it tends to make single people feel overly lonely and couples feel artificially obligated...I think its a rotten, pressure-filled holiday.  I long for February 15 pretty much as soon as I see the first pink-red-purple-heart-shaped candy hit the store.
• Due to the dreaded V-Day madness, there are temptations galore which hit me in my weak places.  Chocolate covered everything, truffles, enticing cupcakes, frosting, frosting and frosting... its a sweets addict's worst nightmare.

The past 4-5 weeks have been a series of false starts for me.  I would start the week or weekend with weak resolve to maintain a clean eating/exercise program and then the downward spiral set in...the self-loathing and frustration would take root and refuse to budge.  Too much pressure!  Pressure to have my act together, pressure to be mentally/financially/emotionally/professionally fit and I was failing all over the place.  It was a darkness that I didn't fight (or at least didn't fight hard enough) and before I knew it, I had gained back the weight I lost during the 21 day challenge in December.  And I hated myself for it.  Of course I tried not to let that show, I put on my very best Mary Poppins face and told everyone that everything was fine.  Fine, I tell you!  Except it wasn't fine and I lost my fighting spirit.

I took a week long stay-cation at the end of the month and it proceeded to dump the remaining 12 inches or so of snow on the ground.  While I definitely made some more poor eating choices, I used this time to give myself the room to breath that I needed.  It was a time to take stock of my situation and identify the root cause, rather than the symptoms, of my bad habits.  A friend of mine coined this time my "sweat lodge" journey which is funny because it was so stinking cold outside and I kept having this mental image of Dr. Quinn's hunky Sully squatting in a sweat lodge with Cloud Dancing, but she was right.  I needed to marinate in my pain a little to figure out what was wrong and why I wasn't doing anything about it.  I was able to see and understand many of the unresolved things in my heart/mind that needed to be addressed so I could move forward and heal.

Of course, the very next week, I left for a business trip in New Orleans...A fun fact about me, I like to immerse myself in the food culture of each place I visit so that I can see what all the fuss is about.  I did exercise almost every day of my trip, but I definitely enjoyed the local cuisine.  New Orleans is not my kind of town when it comes to the nightlife/entertainment (Bourbon Street is wretched and it smells like Satan), but man, those folks know how to cook!  I didn't have one meal that wasn't absolutely delightful and it wasn't even all Cajun (thank you Yelp and TripAdvisor for steering me toward German, Italian and Comfort Fusion flavor nirvana).

So this week, I am back and it feels good to see 'me' again.  I've missed the 'me' that isn't so entrenched in frustration and pain.  I'm taking each day, each moment at a time like I did in the beginning.  Back to the basics because, yeah, the basics freaking work.

And can we just eliminate February from the calendar already?  I mean, come on, its 28 days...sometimes, except when its 29...that's weird.  We can just make the other months longer and they can absorb February.  V-Day disappears, everyone who was born in that month can have a brand new birthday and Leap Day can be tacked on at the end of December when everyone likes to take a little extra time between Christmas and New Years anyway.  People, I think this could work.
(my apologizes to anyone who was born or married in February, I don't mean to hate on your month, but seriously, it started it with me...so not my fault).

:)

A meal for a cold winter's night

I love recipes that fill the house with delicious aromas of roasting garlic & onions.  The ones that make your toes curl with delight as you savor each and every bite.  This is my new favorite comfort food packed with flavor but not heavy on the calories.  Plus, its just darn pretty in the bowl.

I make mine with Johnsonville Pork & Chicken blended mild Italian sausage.  I've made it before with Italian turkey sausage and to be honest, its disappointing because the sausage is a little too dry.  Don't get me wrong, I like Italian turkey sausage cooked into pasta sauce, but without any sauce its just a little bland by itself.

Italian Sausage, Peppers & Potatoes
Adapted From Good Housekeeping
5 Servings

Nutritional Information (per serving, according to myfitnesspal.com)

Calories  446
Carbs  52
Fat  18
Protein  22


Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 30 min
Oven Temp: 450

Ingredients
1 pound or 5 Links of Johnsonville Pork & Chicken Mild Italian sausage, cut crosswise into thirds
6 medium red potatoes, each cut in large wedges (about 8)
1 large white onion, cut into large wedges (about 8-12)
1 large red bell pepper, cut into 8 pieces
1 large yellow or orange bell pepper, cut into 8 pieces
1 tablespoon olive oil
1+ tablespoon fresh minced garlic
Salt
Pepper
Dried Basil
Dried Oregano

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 450° F.
2. Cover a large jelly-roll pan with aluminum foil (or lightly coat with cooking spray).
3. In a large bowl or bag, combine potatoes, onion, peppers, olive oil, garlic salt (about 1/2 to 1 teaspoon), and black pepper (about 1/2 teaspoon); toss to coat.  Add sausages and gently mix.
4.  Spread mixture on jelly-roll pan.  Sprinkle with dried basil & oregano (and more salt & pepper if it seems too light).
5.  Roast sausage mixture 30 or until potatoes are fork-tender and sausages are lightly browned, stirring/turning once 15 minutes into roasting.
6.  Try not to lick the bowl...

Happy Dance! (P90x Week 1 Done)

Starting Weight - 186 lbs

Post Week 1 Weigh-in - 182.4 lbs

Now I am realistic enough to know that this was mostly water/whatever weight that happens when you start a strict calorie diet, drink lots of water and spend an hour working out every day.  That didn't stop me from doing the silent happy dance this morning in the bathroom while the rest of the household was snoozing away.

In case I forgot to mention it, P90x is hard.  H_A_R_D.  Not impossible, but yeah, really stinking hard.  I'm focusing on my form so much more this time around and its paying off...with really sore muscles.  I know its only week 1, but I'm already starting to see some of the changes that are on the horizon.  I must take a before picture so I have something to compare myself to when I am done.  Unfortunately, I'm lousy at remembering to do stuff like this, but I'll try to rig something up tonight.

In other news, I've been contemplating the purchase of new swimwear.  Being a 6 foot female, this is always a daunting task to find something that will accommodate my long torso, but perhaps its time to consider something in the 2 piece category?  Maybe?  Eh?  I'm really drawn to the vintage swimwear trend.  Here are some pieces that I have my eye on:

Unique Vintage
Vintage Inspired 50's Style Pin Up Blue Cherry Print Bathing Suit 

Unique Vintage
Vintage Inspired Swimsuit 50's Black Cherry Print One Piece

Unique Vintage
Vintage Inspired Swimsuit 50's Style Black And Red Polka Dot Bikini 

"F" Words

I haven't blogged in the last week or so because my thoughts have been unbloggable.  Gone were positive, uplifting messages of inspiration and in their place, a mind strewn with F words...failure, frazzled, frenzy, fear, frustration, fatigue...  But! I had to rally and pull myself up by my bootstraps because its time to live in reality where things just aren't that bad.  I have a wonderful life and I am surrounded by fabulously flawed family & friends.  Its time to embrace this chaos, right?  Right?!

So after consuming more than a reasonable amount of Edy's Light Fudge Tracks ice cream and deciding it was time to suck it up, I recommitted myself for the 5,093 time to never stray again!  Or at least, not to stray too far :)  This week marks the return of P90x (per my husband's request).  I was inclined to move to something else like Insanity or Rushfit, but honestly, if he's willing to put in the time to do it, I'm on board.  My Fitness Pal welcomed me back with open arms and reminded me that I hadn't fully tracked all my calories in 3 days, which seemed a little judgmental but then again, I did this to myself.  I'm on Day 2 of P90x and I can already feel the deep ache within my muscles cursing me for waiting so long between workout routines.   The good news is that the holidays didn't bring any weight gain for me (no real weight loss either after the 21 day challenge ended).  So minus the 2 pounds of whatever weight (water, salt, ice cream, being a chick) that I added to the scale over the weekend, I'm starting off in a good spot.  

Tony Horton, kick my a$$ into gear.  Its time to get serious for we are headed into <shudder> swimsuit season.

The obligatory "2013 Resolution" post

I actually do like making New Years resolutions for myself, but starting in 2012, I tried to build them with my own weaknesses and strengths in mind.  I had some successes and some not-so-successful outcomes but I still enjoy the process of feeling renewed with new purpose.  I just read a blog post from one of my FAVORITE BLOGGERS ON THE PLANET about this subject and she has inspired me to share my own.  Seriously, if you don't follow the Pioneer Woman blogs, you should.  Right now.  Even if you don't cook...or bake...or homeschool your kids...or like photography...or like cattle ranches.  She's brilliant and funny and someone I would love to just know in person.

You can find her posts here.

So the idea is to take the letters of the word "Resolution" and outline your own goals.  Its silly and fun and its my blog so I'm gonna do it.  

Read a sentence, passage or chapter of an actual book (blogs, emails or social media doesn't count) of every day for sheer increase in knowledge or entertainment value.  Can't be work-related in any way.  No time minimums or limits.  

Eat clean for 90% of meals per week (i.e. 3 splurgy meals per week)  

Suck it up and workout at least 4 times per week.  This body isn't going to get/stay toned by itself.

Organize mini-vacations to visit friends who live in El Dorado Springs, Seattle, & Billings.

Listen to my creator, he knows what he is doing when I don't.

Understand and embrace my body/food issues so that I know how to navigate them more positively.

Tell those I cherish how much I adore and admire them as often as possible.

Invite friends to meals/movies/walks/generic outings more.  I worry that I have become the one who doesn't initiate this and that could be perceived as insensitive or uncaring.

Obsess less about the following topics: money, food, future, body image

Notice and take immediate action of problems that I can solve or at minimum, improve.   

Feel free to share yours if you would like, I really enjoyed doing this and would love to see others.

Clean Eating & Decisions...

The past two weeks have been a fairly typical parade of holiday festivities all adding up to too much fat, salt, sugar and wine (though you won't hear me complaining about the wine...or the martinis consumed with my best friend who was in town for the holidays).  As much as I cherish the new memories associated with consuming delectable treats with my loved ones, I am completely happy to return to my routine of clean eating.  I could feel the balance coming back into place as I consumed my protein shake for breakfast and greek yogurt with frozen blueberries for lunch.  Its not that these things are particularly amazing to eat, but I found I enjoyed the flavors and the familiarity of a meal that would both keep my body full and not bring that sense of guilt or frustration.  I do have some sense of my system withdrawing a bit.  While I am not hungry at all, there is an emotional hunger for things I normally reserve for special occasions (i.e. anything with frosting, chocolate, sugar, cream cheese, chocolate, sprinkles, did I say chocolate?).  I hate the withdrawal stage.  It takes a few days to eradicate the cravings.  I usually deal with this by (1) exercising and (2) allowing myself some of those calories from exercising to indulge a little.  Some Lindt Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt...some Edy's light ice cream.  Something to keep my brain/body from complete rebellion.  I used to try complete and utter denial of those things but it only make me focus on them more.  As long as my iPhone calorie tracker app says I have the calories to do it, I try to use them up, especially the first few days back on track.  Otherwise, I'm snarky and ridiculous to those around me.

I also have a decision that I'm struggling with... The facility which held the 21 day challenge is doing a 60 day challenge starting this Saturday.  Its very enticing as the cost isn't very high for all the benefits you receive.  So I have to decide if I want to make that commitment again which means driving an extra 40 minutes 4 times per week and spending some $$$ which we are recovering from Christmas expenses.  These classes are also 1 hour long which will increase the time and intensity of the workout.  Its not that I don't think its worth it.  I know it would be, but I am a frugal person who owns several workout routines on DVD.  I had the self-discipline to get through P90x once, but I know how motivating it can be to workout in a setting where you push and are being pushed to work harder, faster.  So I'm struggling to decide if adding this commitment into my life is going to be beneficial without adding a tremendous amount of stress.  Stress to prearrange meals to be cooking in my absence.  Stress to get out of the house early on Saturday mornings when I typically make a nice breakfast for the hubby.  So we shall see what I decide I can live with.  Hmm....

Oven Turkey Meatballs

Last night, I had a craving for the warm embrace of pasta.  It was cold and bitter outside.  The leftover Christmas snackie treats had disappeared to the office to be consumed by the masses.  I wanted something that would satisfy, but also keep me in my daily caloric range.  Thus, Oven Turkey Meatballs were born.  Taking several recipes and pulling out the redeeming qualities, here is my creation which was fast, satisfying and gave me a tasty meal at roughly 500 calories.  I served them with my spruced up pasta sauce and rotini pasta. Personally, I am a big fan of rotini.  It holds lots of sauce in its little nooks and crannies.  If I was just making this for me, I would have used whole-wheat pasta, but since my husband thinks whole-wheat pasta is an abomination, I used DaVinci Organic Rotini Pasta.   I kept the 2% Italian Cheese Blend on the dinner table so we could sprinkle some over the top of the pasta.  My husband wants most meals to sear his taste-buds from spice heat, so he also added a decent coating of red pepper flakes to the whole beautiful mixture.   My pasta bowl had approximately 1 cup of cooked pasta and sauce with 4 beautiful meatballs covered with 1-2 tbsp of cheese.

Oven Turkey Meatballs

Prep time - 10 mins
Cook time - 30 mins
Serves 6
Makes 24 meatballs, 4 meatballs per serving











INGREDIENTS:
1 (20 ounce) package ground turkey (needs to be 93/7, the turkey should have at least 7% fat otherwise it falls apart)
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup Panko bread crumbs
1 tsp Italian Seasoning (you could also add different seasonings to taste, next time I may throw in a little onion powder too)
3 tsp minced garlic
2 Tbsp Kraft 2% Milk Italian Three Cheese Shredded Cheese (you could also just use Parmesan)
Olive oil or cooking spray

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2.     Cover a cookie sheet or jelly roll pan with aluminum foil (just for easy clean-up, you don't have to do this if you want to wash the pan).  Lightly spray with cooking spray or use fingertips to spread a thin layer of olive oil.
3. In a medium bowl, mix together the ground turkey, egg, bread crumb, Italian seasoning, garlic and cheese using your hands. Form the meat into walnut sized meatballs. Place about 1/2 - 1 inch apart on the pan. You should have 24 meatballs total.  Oh and your hands will smell like garlic, even after you wash them.  For me, this is never a problem :)
3. Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven, then remove to turn them over, and continue baking for about 10-15 more minutes, or until somewhat brown on the outside. Add cooked meatballs to pasta sauce to coat.  Serve with whole wheat pasta.

Since I was pressed for time and didn't feel much like making sauce all the way from scratch, I cheated a bit and made a semi-homemade sauce with rotini.  I started the sauce once the meatballs went into the oven, but you could start it before if you wanted to let it simmer longer.  Here is my recipe:

Amanda's Semi-Homemade Quick Pasta Sauce with Rotini
INGREDIENTS:
Olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 Tbsp minced garlic
2 cans Eden Organic Pizza Pasta Sauce (15 oz)
1 can crushed tomatoes (15 oz or so)
A few shakes of Italian seasoning
Salt & Pepper to taste

2/3 or 12 oz of dry rotini pasta
Olive oil

DIRECTIONS:
1.  Start heating water in a pasta pot on high using package directions for guidance as to how much water you may need...  not that I ever do that.  I just wing it.
2.  In a large skillet or saucepan (I used one large enough to hold the pasta and meatballs at the end so I could serve the whole lovely mess from there), add a small amount of olive oil, chopped onions and minced garlic over medium heat.  Saute until soft, approximately 5 mins or until it looks right.
2.  Add canned pasta sauce and crushed tomatoes and stir frequently until it starts to bubble.  Add salt and pepper to taste.
3.  Simmer on low while pasta is prepared.
4.  The water in the pasta pot should be at a nice rolling boil so you can prepare the pasta according to package directions, adding a tsp or so of olive oil to keep the pasta from sticking.  I timed everything so the pasta and meatballs would finish around the same time.  Once the pasta was drained, I added it to the pasta sauce and threw in the meatballs as well.  PS, your kitchen will smell heavenly from the meatballs and garlic and onions and sauce.  You're welcome.

21 Day Challenge Results!

After 21 days of hard workouts and diligent clean eating, I stood nervously while the calipers pinched here, there and everywhere.  Without further adieu, here's the breakdown:

Total pounds lost: 7
Body Fat % lost: 1.7%
Inches lost: 4

Right now I am sitting at 24.9% body fat which is near the "Ideal" section of the body fat percentage range.  Using those math skills I never expected to need in my adult life and a little calculation assistance from this website (http://www.healthchecksystems.com/bodyfat.htm), I figured out that I started out at 44% body fat when I was 246 pounds.  That percentage doesn't even show up on this chart...

While I am more than a little proud of the progress I have made, I know I still have some serious toning to do to get closer to "Lean".  I was shown the "before" and "after" pictures from the challenge and I could actually see some differences in 3 weeks.  I could also see trouble spots that I will have to work on before I can transition to more of a maintenance mode.  I'm realistic enough to know that there will probably be areas of my body that will cling to cellulite like Gollum with a death grip on the ring.  Ah well, I can't escape this battle without a few scars to prove I fought my way back.

Awesome or Strange Revelations

In no particular order, here are some things I have discovered along the way as the pounds began and continue to come off:

• At some point you have to buy smaller workout clothes.  This one probably seems obvious to everyone, but when I bought several pairs of black stretchy yoga pants that I frequently wear during workouts, I never expected them to appear baggy.  I guess I thought they would be like the "Traveling Pants" from that movie and just magically adjust their size as I did.  Its not logical, I know.
• Sorry boys, this one is a bit personal so I'll attempt to describe with as much decorum as possible.  Its harder to shave under your arms because instead of being flat or even a tad convex, the area under your arms is now very concave due to lack of fat and increase of muscle.  When you have been doing something the same way for many years with the same result and suddenly you have to adjust your methods (i.e. work harder) for the same result, its a little disconcerting.
• Bones!  No, not Dr. McCoy or Dr. Brennan (depending on your brand of geek).  Of course I know I've always had them, but their dimensions were much harder to make out with a cushy layer over them.  Suddenly, I have little juts of bone here and there.  I'm fascinated.   
• The discovery of previously unseen muscles.  I picked something up the other day and happened to see the strangest little muscle appear on my forearm.  I can tell you it didn't used to be there.  Or at least it didn't used to be shaped like that.
• The discovery of previously unfelt muscles.  It seems that every time I learn a new way to do a squat (who knew there could be so many ways), a new bundle of muscle tissue makes its presence known the next day.  And the day after that.
• Something always seems to be falling off / down.  For example, my wedding ring has had several close calls as my fingers appear to be shrinking.  Some of my boots won't stay up on my calves, so they fall down and look slouchy but not in a good way.
• I hear myself making statements like "Oh I'd love to try [insert insanely challenging new fitness craze] sometime!"...with my outside voice and I actually mean it.  So weird.
• When I get hugged, I can feel that people's arms go around me farther than they did previously, particularly my husband.  When you've been hugged by someone for over 10 years, your body knows the feeling of the other person against you.  So when their arms can reach farther, you know that what they are hugging is smaller than it used to be.  I must say, this one might be my favorite :)

A Different December

This is by far the strangest December I have ever had.  I haven't eaten a single Christmas themed cookie.  I walked away from the most divine smelling potluck in the history of potlucks.  I've spent the last two Fridays awake at 5:00am driving to the gym.  I've lost 6 pounds (according to my scale).  I totally missed the fact that I passed the 60 pound mark because I have been too busy focusing on small goals.  Dear friends, I do believe I have been body snatched.

This 21 day challenge will come to a close on Saturday and I am itching to see the results.  When I started, my body fat percentage was just above the "normal" range into the "overweight" category.  I'm excited to see if I've made any progress toward lowering that number.  I'm excited to start 2013 at a weight I haven't seen since... well ever in my adult life.  I'm excited to plan a tropical vacation, have actual pictures of me taken without chagrin, wear swimwear in mixed company and buy summer clothes (typically my most frustrating fashion season).  Yep, totally body snatched.

But short-term, I am so excited for Christmas!  Taking a day or two to enjoy the indulgences (while not over-indulging and making myself feel wretched) which I don't have to feel bad about anymore because I know I'm working hard and being diligent the other 350 days of the year (took out a few for holidays / birthdays / girls nights). 

Being nice to that girl

I've been looking at photographs of myself over the past 10 years in an attempt to understand what triggered my weight gain.  Its a myriad of things really....being perhaps awfully young to be married and out on our own, struggling financially to sustain mortgages and car payments, dealing with scary health issues of close loved ones, overall insecurity about who I was and what I wanted...

When I see the pounds gradually (and sometimes not so gradually) pile on in the pictures, it feels like looking at someone else.  A girl with self-esteem issues who buried her frustrations and sorrows in Skittles and General Tso's Chicken.  I used to use words like "cow" and "fatty" and "whale" to describe myself, but now I see the damage that self-loathing can do.  Hating myself only made my problems seem more intense and before I knew it, I was in a full emotional landslide into whatever sugary confection was readily available.

These days, I try to be more gentle with that girl.  She dealt with some hard things and in the end, she brought me here.  She's not any of those ugly words.  She's a girl who didn't know what to do about her own health issues, but she tried to keep everything else from falling apart.

I know full well that I still don't have everything figured out.  I will likely always mentally seek a sugary confection when I get sucker-punched by a bad day, but it doesn't mean that my actions have to follow their old patterns.  I'll do my best to make better choices because I'm not just doing this for now.  I'm doing this to ensure the remaining years of my life are as good as they can possibly be.  Its not easy, but I was never promised that it was going to be.  

Holiday Battles

I think everyone hits a wall at some point during the holiday season.  A day where you feel the tight squeeze on the wallet from buying presents, when you remember that the real estate taxes are due in December which is just horribly cruel, when you have no spare moment to yourself because you are scheduling / baking / primping for another holiday party, when you have been trying to be so good eating healthy and working out but your body is dog-tired and your brain longs to dive head first into the box of Jingles you have been ignoring since it appeared on the shelf...(no, I didn't buy the Jingles, I wouldn't do that to myself).

I don't have a magical remedy for getting through these battles.  These are the days where I force myself to work out in hopes that the extra endorphins will boot me out of my funk.  I swing through Starbucks and indulge in the $4 grande nonfat latte because (a) its not the box of Jingle-flavored calories, (b) Starbucks smells like heaven, and (c) I could use the extra calcium and caffeine.  I persevere because it will get better when I give it some time.  Somehow the money will be juggled, the cookies will be baked and I will enjoy every minute of watching my loved ones open their gifts because I tried to pick something with their heart and soul in mind.  I will remember the true meaning of Christmas when Nat King Cole sings "Away in a Manger" and will likely shed a few tears for being self-centered and forgetful that Christmas is not about me.