70 pounds

246 to 176

Its been a battle.  A grueling, rewarding, painful, frustrating, invigorating battle.  My thoughts as I look at this picture:

• The dress I wore in that wedding was a size 18 and it was borrowed at the last minute because I didn't fit into anything else in my closet that I planned to wear.  I'm smiling in the picture, but inside, a war with myself was underway.
• I always thought that losing weight was impossible.  Turns out its not.  Its just hard.  I didn't like things that were hard to accomplish.
• In this process, I had to fix my heart as much (if not more) than my body.
• It took me about 2 1/2 years to do it.  When I watch those TV shows where they lose 70 pounds in 6 months, I'm impressed, but I wonder if they ever got to experience Frosted Bliss cupcakes or Spin Pizza which makes life worth living.  Slower, in my opinion, is infinitely better.  It feels more permanent.  And there are occasional cupcakes along the way.
• I don't every get to stop.  The other day, I had a weak moment where I thought to myself, "gosh, I'll be glad when I don't have to think about this all the time."  And I stopped and smacked myself in the forehead.  Its never over, it never stops.  Its my health and my life, its worth the daily skirmish. 
• If I ever say to you "I'm thinking about going brunette again", stop me.